On Enjoying Life

So, as you all know from my last post, I am a fan of being busy. But I have had some time today to think things over, and I've realized, sometimes, it's important to not be busy. Now, this is a topic that I am completely conflicted over, and as an 18-year-old it's kind of hard to figure out what a fulfilling life really consists of, but I am doing my best.

It is especially hard to try to figure out what you need in life when you have nearly everyone in your life trying to pull you in a different direction and forcing you to make decisions about the rest of your life. Honestly, I'm not even the legal age to make a responsible decision about alcohol, and I'm supposed to decide what I'm going to do for the rest of my life? I'm barely even old enough to vote! The best part is, if I make the wrong decision, I'm like, 20,000 dollars in debt already. WOOHOO.

Of course, thinking about all of this sort of drives me into an existential crisis. Who cares what I do with my life? So I'll go get my university degree, I will or won't get a job, I'll have a good life or a bad life, I'll be a mother or a wife or an aunt or none of those, and eventually I will die and nothing that I have done will matter. I will not exist any more, which is a hard concept to grasp. Eventually, none of us will exist. No one will. We'll all be gone and none of these breakthroughs we've made or the things that we've done, the flying to the moon or the technological advancements or even the little things like that youtube video you posted that went viral, none of it is going to matter, it will all be gone. So who cares if I spend my time writing a blog, doing my school work, writing travel articles for a website, working at a gas station? I might as well do what makes me happy at the moment, right?

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is, I would really like to be busy. But at the same time, I would really like to relax and enjoy what I'm doing, because in the end there isn't much point in doing anything but that.

Also, as a little end note, I'd like to take a moment to say to Tara: Enjoy life especially today! Happy birthday to one of my very best friends!